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My Secret Desires

What are your secret desires?

My lovely friendĀ @laurievmcallister from https://girlandtonic.co.uk/ asked me today “What are your secret desires my love?” and I immediately burst into tears thinking about the things I long for. I have gotten so used to my desires being at the bottom of the pile. The kids always come first, I have put partners first, I put my wants/needs/wishes last because I want the people I love to be happy.

On a Relationship Level:

I want to meet a man who is secure, who knows himself inside out, has done work on himself and continues to grow, who values family and friends, who takes care of his body and mind, who wants to love me and my children and be a family with us. A man who is generous, kind and attentive. A man who appreciates nature and sees the beauty in the simple things. Someone who makes me laugh, encourages me and lights up when I smile.

On a Personal Level:

I want to advance my career. I want to pass my exams and excel professionally. I want to have a good balance of time with the kids/friends/gym. I want to find a way to encourage and motivate more people, whether it is with exercise or sobriety. I want to keep progressing with healing, with therapy, with mindfulness, with genuine connections. I want to be a better mother, be more present, be more patient. I want to strengthen my friendship circle. I want to sleep better and more consistently. I want to write more and I want to read more. I want more time off my phone, enjoying the real world. I want to visit beautiful places and take photos on my camera with the sole purpose of having them printed to enjoy later. I want to indulge myself every once in a while, with chocolates, lazy days and Netflix. I want to live a full, purposeful life – rich with love.

Let go of things that are not in alignment.

I want to write these things down. Publicly. I want to remember all the things I am longing for and when situations arise that do not align with what I want, I am going to let it go. I am not going to get sucked into situations that are not for me anymore.

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